This model has ‘everything’.
Over 200,000 followers.
Over a million dollars.
Beauty.
Status.
But her boyfriend broke up with her.
Now it feels like she lost everything in her life.
Her boyfriend is a fighter.
He told her he needs space.
He feels like she’s too clingy.
And he can’t have that at this point in his career.
And when he told her that, it was extremely painful for her.
She didn’t see it coming.
She can’t let him go.
She wants him back.
But somewhere deep in her heart, she knows it will be difficult if she doesn’t change.
Let’s talk about the truth.
Because it’s the only thing that there is…we can’t live in lies, do we?
It’s the only thing that’s effective. It’s the only thing that can produce lasting change.
The truth may hurt.
But lies are like papercuts.
Eventually…they will break you.
It has become very apparent to me that very, very few humans are able to change radically, completely.
With radical change, I don’t mean a change that happens in an instant.
More so the transformation itself.
Not turning 90 degrees.
But making a triple backflip, while turning 276 degrees at the end.
What is the truth for her?
About her life, about her situation, about herself?
…where do we begin?
It’s layers deep.
And very personal to her.
Let’s talk about the truth we do know.
She’s very attached to him.
Otherwise, she can never feel that much pain.
In the same way, I can leave a leaf in the forest.
Never seeing it again and do not feel any pain.
No attachment at all.
So as long as I’m attached to this leaf, I will come back to the forest looking for this leaf.
When I find it, I will try to take it home with me, whether he wants to or not.
I will try to take him home.
I will try to store him.
Make sure he stays alive.
Does not rot.
Never even lose out of sight.
There will almost be a constant exposure to my beautiful leaf.
I will keep seeing him.
But most important…
I will think about this leaf very often.
When I see him, and when I don’t.
We fear losing not just the person, but the future we imagined with them.
The regular stream thoughts will increase my attachment to him.
You likely did not comprehend the impact of the truth, the importance of the previous sentence.
Let’s look at those thoughts…
I might start to think that I can start a family with him.
That we can make other leaves.
And how beautiful they will look.
Maybe we will get a purple leaf.
Perhaps even a yellow one. One that looks like his father.
Oh, and how will his father take care of him? He will be such a great …
All these ideas…
All these images…
We see when we think…
And when we are online on social media…
We see pictures of beautiful leaf families.
All the good stuff.
Every time our attachment increases.
And now attachment to all these ideas as well.
Not just the leaf.
So when we lose this leaf, we do not only lose him, we lose ALL OF THE IDEAS he has been involved in.
You could say there are at some point more than a thousand attachments all coming from this one beautiful leaf of ‘yours’.
Do you see this?
Can you?
Can you see this?
Can you see the web?
Because it is the source of your pain.
Our thoughts weave the web of our own suffering.
The pain of loss is proportional to the strength of your attachment.
It’s just that the pain is felt all at once in a breakup.
So what if the opposite was the case?
What if there was no exposure inside and outside to all of these ideas?
So what if you stopped seeing all of the social media posts about perfect leaf families, the marriage of the leaves, children of the leaves, all of it?
Well, perhaps your attachment would decrease because you have fewer things to attach to.
But this leaves you with your thoughts…
And you have been seeing all of these posts.
And all of your friends are still talking about it.
And all of them still see the social media posts.
And also they have their own thoughts.
So now you are not dealing anymore with the external world.
But inside your skull.
With your own thoughts.
This is why it is so difficult for someone to change radically.
Because who is willing to go that far to see all of this? You know anyone?
Now let’s continue…
Let’s say this woman has so much pain that she is ready to see this.
And in an instant, she drops social media.
Not as a social media detox for 10 days so she can post about it after 14 days.
No, a true understanding of what it does to her.
Social media feeds our attachments, starving our true selves.
Then she is still left with her past conditioning and her current thoughts.
Why do these thoughts happen?
Is it out of the desire to get him back, to be with him, to bring all the ideas alive? The family, the kids, the marriage, and so on.
Can there be a desire to ‘get’ him without the fear of not getting him?
I’m asking you, please think about it.
I will be honest with you, I don’t know yet.
But it seems like everywhere there is desire, there must be fear.
But don’t believe me.
Look at it yourself if you wish.
She will do this because she has so much pain right now.
She is willing to do everything.
But the solution is not to get him back.
That is just avoiding the problem.
That is just dealing with the leaf instead of the root.
“You either deal with the root of fear or trim the branches of fear.”
~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
So whether she gets him back or not.
She will be in pain.
Whether in the pain of not being with him or being with him in the fear of him leaving again.
And she has understood this.
But she is still in pain.
So what is left for her to do?
Nothing.
She can’t DO her way out of this.
She may ask herself what she really wants.
If she wants to know the truth about everything that is important to her.
The truth about her mind.
Or not.
Because if she is not, then this will continue to happen.
Problems continue to spawn.
Small ones, big ones, extreme ones, medium ones.
Not every day, but every two days there is a problem.
Problems are inevitable, suffering is optional.
Does she merely want to duct-tape the problem?
For it just to happen again two years later with him or a new leaf.
I’m not saying she should do anything. She may only understand the consequences.
If she is not willing to fully understand her mind, then these things will continue to happen.
She will feel bad about problems.
The mind creates a thousand beliefs from a single leaf.
BUT.
There is a possibility for her to arrive at a point where problems may happen.
The small, the medium, the large, the extra large problems.
But it does not affect her any longer.
This is possible for her.
If she really, really wants that.
Who becomes a gold Judo medalist without really, really wanting it?
But there is a price.
The price of familiarity.
The price of the known.
The price of the comfort. YES.
There is comfort in the pain she feels.
There is joy in the heartbreak song she listens to.
Can you see this?
Is she willing to leave this behind?
That’s the question I leave her with…when I continue my path into the forest.
You may watch this video next about a similar story.
Talk soon
Jordan
Boyfriend leaves ~ Poem
In English she says: “He broke up with me, I want him back”
In Poetry I whisper:
Heartbreak can save her, though it’s hard to see,
With followers and fortune, she thought she was free.
Beauty and status, she had it all,
But when he left, her world did fall.
Truth is the only way, no room for lies,
Only truth can change her, open her eyes.
She’s attached to him, that’s clear and plain,
Her attachment is the source of her pain.
Like a leaf in the forest, once out of sight,
She keeps searching for him, day and night.
Social media fuels the sorrow she feels,
Perfect couples of leaves, none of it real.
If she stops the exposure, the pain might decrease,
But thoughts in her mind won’t easily cease.
Comfort in pain, and heartbreak songs,
So does she even want to find a way back home?
Watch The Full Message here (when released):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qLKVr2vyhY
PS: If you want to work personally with me one-on-one, physically, or virtually, then you can email me ([email protected]) or schedule a call here. But I only work with someone to whom money is not a problem and who is serious.
