“I’m rich, beautiful, but unhappy.”

This story is not about me, but about a woman that I came to know.

 

For her privacy, let’s call her Lily.

 

She’s 29 years old.

Did modeling work.

Has 120K+ followers.

Has her own businesses

A jewelry & real estate company. 

Travels a lot, lived in Dubai but now in Bali.

 

It appears to be that beautiful women like her feel more lonely than ever.

 

“Our conflict is in relationships, at all levels of our existence.

And the understanding of this relationship, completely and extensively…
Is the only real problem that each one has.”
~ J. Krishnamurti

In this letter, I want to use her story as an example.

To deeply understand this feeling of loneliness.

 

Why?

 

Well, when you have really understood the feeling…it can no longer hurt you anymore.

 

How come?

 

Perhaps the best way to explain what I mean is to use an analogy.

 

Let’s say your gay friend tells you that there is a snake beneath you RIGHT NOW.

As long as you haven’t seen this snake deep in the eyes, you don’t know if there’s one…

 

You run away…

You scream…

 

But you have never seen the snake.

 

So is there one?

 

Why run away from something you haven’t seen?

Why continue to feel bad about something you do not understand?

 

Let’s find out what this feeling is.

So that you may not run away from it.

 

Because you do not HAVE TO anymore.

 

What if it is actually a cute little rabbit?

You would probably pick it up and pet it, right?

 

At least not try to ESCAPE from it.

 

But this is what Lily does.

And perhaps you too.

 

Death by a thousand cuts.

Running away from something we don’t understand.

 

Going on retreats.

Solo vacations to resorts.

Trying to ‘heal’ from her last breakup.

Trying to ‘detach’ without understanding. 

 

All for it to happen again…

 

Pain…

Fear…

Heartbreak…

Detaching…

And attaching again.

 

“Fear does not prevent death.
It prevents life.”
Buddha

She’s already getting older.

 

Some of her friends have kids already.

They tell her how beautiful it is.

 

Late at night before she falls asleep, she fears not having kids.

Fears not being able to find the right partner.

Fear of an unhappy life.

Despite all her ‘success’.

Despite all her money.

Despite her glamorous lifestyle.

Despite all of the men who throw themselves at her feet.

 

There is a fear.

 

I want to have kids.

 

I do not have a partner right now.

 

I’m 29.

 

I might have a few years left for healthy children.

 

What if I don’t find the right partner?

 

Do I adopt a child?

 

Will my life turn into a nightmare?

 

Because having children may be the only thing I REALLY want in my life.

 

All the modeling work…

All the places I’ve been…

All the beautiful holidays and destinations…

All the followers… 

All the attention.

 

It doesn’t matter.

 

I want kids.

I want the right husband to find me.

I want peace.

 

Before we continue…

I think it is really important to understand the consequences.

 

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies.
Love is not about possession.”

~ Osho

I do not care about right or wrong.

I’m not saying the perfect husband doesn’t exist.

I’m not saying you should lower your standards…

 

Because all the people around you are telling you this already, but it doesn’t help, right?

 

So what are the consequences?

 

The things you try to ‘own’
End up owning you

As long as you desire to have children, without coming to terms with a life without, you will feel the fear of not getting them.

 

As long as you need someone else to not feel lonely, you will spend the rest of your life in dependence on someone else.

 

As long as you have not seen the rabbit under your chair, you will fear the snake for the rest of your life.

 

You can trick yourself into not feeling fear.

But this only works temporarily.

 

You can go to an ayahuasca ceremony to ‘heal your inner child’.

But anxiety will return.

 

You can find your dream husband.

But you’ll fear losing him.

 

You can continue to find solutions.

OR SEEK UNDERSTANDING.

 

Explore the roots of your fear, anxiety, stress, turmoil, crying, heartbreak, and pain.

So you can sit with peace on that same chair.

And look at the rabbit with a gentle smile.

 

What is Lily left to do?

 

If you are still reading this, you were perhaps hoping for new ‘to-do’s’.

E.g. here are five places where you can meet the right man.

 

Number one, the library.

Number two, the bar.

Number three, the gym.

Number four, the spa.

 

But you already read those things, didn’t you?

 

And they didn’t work.

 

After all, you still feel bad.

 

It’s because you’re so attached to all of it.

There is this image inside your head that you are attached to.

 

The image of your ideal husband.

The image of your kids.

The image of a family.

 

I start laughing because it is funny, isn’t it?

 

After all those years, and decades of conditioning, you have now the image of the perfect husband in your head. You have a checklist of what the perfect husband looks like, and behaves like. You perhaps even have your names for your children already.

 

And now you’re so attached to these ideas because you have thought about them so MANY times for so LONG. Over and over again…

 

This is why it hurts.

Because your mind fears not getting it. Losing it. Never experiencing it.

 

“Using another as a means of satisfaction and security is not love.
Love is never security. Love is a state in which there is no desire to be secure.
It is a state of vulnerability.”

~ J. Krishnamurti

And when you ‘get’ them…

New fears arise.

 

Because you are still attached.

Not to ideas anymore.

Not to this image inside your head anymore.

But for losing them.

 

Can this cycle stop?

 

Absolutely.

 

How?

 

Just go to the beach, take a long walk, do some ayahuasca, drink some detox smoothie, manifest yourself into bliss, go on more dates, exercise, do some yoga retreat, meditate for 10 minutes per day, and journal your way into perfection.

 

Happy now?

 

You do not have to stay unserious…

 

Just like the success in your business…

Just like the success in your modeling or career…

 

You can get what you desire most.

You do not have to continue to feel this way.

If you find the truth.

 

While others may help you ask the right questions.

Only you can ask them.

Only you can open your eyes and see the rabbit.

 

If you want to work personally with me one-on-one, physically, or virtually, then you can email me ([email protected]). But I only work with someone to whom money is not a problem and who is serious. To everyone else, you can find some of my exclusive work here.

 

Talk soon
Jordan

 

The Lonely Model (Poem)

In English She Says: “I’m healing from my heartbreak”

 

In Poetry I say: 

 

She’s beautiful, rich, yet feeling so alone, 

The life of a model, not all it seems.  

Success and followers…

While loneliness lurks behind the scenes.

 

29 years old, the fear of time, 

Will love and family ever be mine? 

Running from feelings not understood.  

Escaping to retreats, still not feeling good. 

 

Healing from heartbreak,
In search of the perfect life.
The right husband, kids, and being a wife. 

 

Freedom lies in understanding deep, 

The fears that make her weep. 

To see the rabbit, not the snake,
A choice she alone can make. 

Let go of should’s and must’s and might’s, 

 

Can she find peace in the quiet lonely nights?

 

The Full Message here:

PS: If you want to work personally with me one-on-one, physically, or virtually, then you can email me ([email protected]) or schedule a call here. But I only work with someone to whom money is not a problem and who is serious.