This is a story about a 26-year-old successful woman who struggles with her relationships.
Every new relationship seems to be transactional.
She’s an influencer, has 100K+ followers, and makes a good amount of money.
On the surface level, she doesn’t like the transactional relationships.
For various reasons, because it’s artificial, it seems fake to her, etc.
She has an idea about what a perfect relationship looks like.
And THIS is NOT it.
Let’s dive deeper.
What is the truth?
The person who does not ‘need’ friends…
Would that person be worried, emotional, or fearful?
About any new relationships that are transactional or not?
I asked a question.
No, I must answer it, I guess.
Obviously, the answer is no.
That person wouldn’t care.
NEEDING friends comes with the weight of expectations.
Now your mind may say,
“Well, which person in the world doesn’t want friends?”
“Very few, I want friends.”
“So this doesn’t matter to me.”
“What are you talking about Jordan!?”
I will answer your mind with the truth.
It is the only thing that works.
What is the truth about relationships?
What is the truth about friends in this case?
If you really NEED friends, you must accept the consequences of this ‘need’.
What are those consequences?
When there are expectations about this idea you have of what a relationship ‘should’ look like…
When you expect friends or specific people in your life to BE a certain way…
You will be met with disappointment.
It is not a matter of IF, but WHEN they will not act according to your expectations.
Humans are not robots.
Humans act according to their self-interest.
YES.
Even donations are done out of the self-interest to feel good.
Don’t believe me.
Ask yourself.
Would you die for your child?
If yes, would you do it for him/her?
Or because you see your child as YOURS and thus a need to act in line with your ego and the image you have of a ‘worthy parent’ and the idea of a ‘prideful way to die’, satisfies your ego more than the fear of death?
Listen, my friend.
Not because I say so.
But so you may ‘listen’.
You have many needs.
You ‘need’ friends.
You ‘need’ your friends to behave XYZ.
Or else they are not your friends anymore.
Your relationship with friends mirrors your relationship with yourself.
It’s conditional, even though you EXPECT others to love you unconditionally.
All of your friends will disappoint you.
All of your friends have already disappointed you.
Again don’t believe me.
Pick one of your best friends.
Did they not return your call when you needed them to?
Did they not want to go with you to that event, place, or ‘thing’?
Did they not share the same excitement for your new boyfriend?
Did they not ‘support’ your decision when you needed her to?
Did they not say the wrong thing behind your back?
These things may be acceptable to you.
But the truth is, that the majority of people aren’t even aware of all their needs.
And these NEEDS have consequences.
It will lead to disappointment, anger, frustration, fear, irritation, and so on.
Now you may say, well, I can live with someone, with a friend who gets close to that…
And that’s fine.
But I’m not interested in that.
I’m interested in the truth.
And this is precisely the truth…
You will continue to live a life with many needs.
On some days these ‘needs’ will be met.
On some days they don’t.
This will cause pain.
I do not accept that.
Now if you do, then that’s fine.
Then this is not for you.
Because you’re not interested in a permanent solution to never feel that again.
The quest for ideal friendships distracts from finding internal peace.
So now I’m talking to the person who is interested in that, who wants to know the truth.
So that you may continue to live with friends WITHOUT any need, without any expectations, and therefore without any pain, suffering, and disappointment.
The one who looks for perfection within themself,
Something they can control,
And that never leaves them.
The one who subscribes to the idea that MORE friends is ‘good’…
Will spend the rest of her life looking for more friends.
And that’s not bad.
The one who subscribes to the idea that a few, really GOOD friends, is ‘better’…
Or even 1 good friend, is ‘good’…
Will continue to feel disappointment.
Because your expectations will not be met.
And the one who can attain internal peace is the one who is ready to drop all expectations and all needs.
And ironically, the friendships can become perfect after that, but then it doesn’t matter anymore.
So if you’re still watching, the question is, what do you really want?
Nothing is good, nothing is bad.
There’s no right or wrong.
And perhaps the best way to see what you wanted thus far before you read this letter, is to look back at your life…and look what you got.
Now that you got a glimpse behind the curtain of truth about relationships…
What do you want?
Knowing the consequences.
Talk soon
Jordan
Behind the Curtain of Transactional Friends ~ Poem
In English She Said: “My relationships seem fake, my friendships feel transactional”
In Poetry I Whisper:
In the glow of her screen, a young woman stands tall,
With 100K followers, she’s seen it all.
Yet each new friendship feels hollow and cold,
Transactional ties, like stories retold.
She yearns for a bond that’s deep and true,
But what she faces is nothing new.
For every expectation grown in her heart,
Brings the seeds of disappointment from the start.
Humans are driven by their own gain,
Even in kindness, there’s something to attain.
Listen closely, to the truth behind the curtain,
NEEDING friends is a burden.
For every unmet need and expectation,
Leads to disappointment and frustration.
Your best friends, though cherished, have failed you before,
Missed calls, lack of support, you may think of more.
But ironically with no expectations, she can find inner peace,
And friends become perfect when her heart finds release.
Watch The Full Message here (when released):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5XtcvzWV84
PS: If you want to work personally with me one-on-one, physically, or virtually, then you can email me ([email protected]) or schedule a call here. But I only work with someone to whom money is not a problem and who is serious.
